5 Questions You Should Ask Before Making a New Year’s Resolution
1. How do I want to feel?
Start from the heart. What do you want to feel and why? At this time of year, it’s easy to get side-tracked by making lists of things we want to be, do or have. Get crystal clear. What is the feeling state you hope that having or achieving those things will generate? What is the result you are striving for? How does it feel in your body when you imagine that you’ve been successful? When you’re clear about the emotional experience you want to create it becomes much easier to identify and work towards tangible goals.
2. What is preventing me from feeling that way already?
Are there adaptations you need to make to your current circumstances to make change possible? Or is it a change of mindset that is required? Are you holding yourself back with false or self-limiting beliefs? What language do you use when you describe the challenge you are setting for yourself? Is what you tell yourself even true? Are you excited by the challenge you’ve set yourself or does it feel like a heavy, unachievable slog? How might you modify your words and behaviour so that you are aligned to the power of whole universes, rather than struggling against them?
3. Am I striving for perfection or might I be prepared to compromise?
How will you manage imperfection or failure? Start where you’re at, be kind to yourself and be prepared to adapt and remain flexible. Rigid expectations invite disappointment, and let’s face it, there’s no such thing as perfect.
4. How can I be at peace with those things that I can’t change, or that don’t change as quickly as I might like?
Only you can answer this. How can you reframe the situation, so you don’t feel frustrated by something that is outside of your control, or resentful? What story might you tell yourself instead?
5. Is this a Me thing or a We thing?
Is this an experience you can create for yourself, or would it be helpful to have a support team? Where have you allowed yourself to be dragged along and influenced by others in the past? What sort of people would you like to surround yourself with? Who inspires you? Who might you inspire? Think ‘How can I be of service?’ rather than ‘What’s in it for me?’ Is this something that might contribute to the well-being of others or is it simply something that feels fun, delicious, satisfying or uplifting whenever you think about it?
There is a whole new decade waiting for you to make your unique mark upon it. Enjoy!